Inertia
by psychotic7796
Summary: Inertia: the resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion. One-shot. A different look into Tsuzuki Asato's mind. Implied shounen-ai.


A/N- Hey! Just another idea I had that I thought would be cool to post. Hope it isn't too hard to follow. We were discussing Newton's Laws and inertia and force and motion and all of that fun stuff in science today, and this idea popped into my head when I heard it.

Crazy, ne? I like it though.

Just in case you don't get it, it's a look into Tsuzuki Asato's mind and what he thinks about change. The normal print is what Tsuzuki says, while the italics are what go through his head. And if you can't figure out that the person Tsuzuki addresses as "_he_" Is Kurosaki Hisoka, then I really have to wonder if you actually ever saw or read the manga or anime.

Disclaimer: I don't own Descendants of Darkness/Yami No Matsuei. If I did I would be amazed at my genius.

Hope you like it! I certainly do!

-Psychotic

Inertia is a funny word. To put it into simple terms, it's any object's resistance to change it's motion. When I think of inertia, I think of science and Mr. K, the teacher who taught us about Newton's Laws of Motion or whatever they're called.

It's easy to relate inertia to some people. I could easily use inertia as a synonym to me in the past.

I hate change. 

If I could, I would have kept everything the same as it was when I was younger. I wanted to stay in my cut-off world, only focusing on making it through the day back to my sister. I didn't want anything to change. I wanted to stay in the small town with Luka and, even though everyone in that town hurt and hated me for reasons I didn't understand, even though Luka flinched anytime she looked me in the eyes, I didn't want it to change. I knew what to do when I was alive. I knew what to do to keep from getting to hurt.

_I knew Luka loved me._

_I knew not to look Luka in the eyes. _

_I knew she said I wasn't a demon._

_I knew she didn't want to see the one part of me that was demonic. _

_I knew people were cruel._

_I knew not to draw attention to myself. _

_I knew that the darkness and shadows were safe, that I could hide in them. _

_I knew that if I hid, I wouldn't be hurt. _

_I knew that I deserved to be hurt, though, so I didn't hide very often. _

There was a lot I knew. There was a lot that I didn't. I was a child.

And then everything changed and my inertia was ripped apart.

My world was turned upside-down when finally someone went to far in their attempt to hurt me. They hurt Luka. They hurt Luka to hurt me. They killed her. They killed her because of me. I may as well have killed her.

I went completely mad. I slaughtered them all. I slaughtered every last bastard that had hurt me, every stupid fucker that was involved in that last, desperate attempt to break me.

And even though they were dead, and I was alive, standing in their blood as I ignored their please for mercy... They had broken me.

And then I fell into a normal routine again. Eight years and everything was as it should be. I was back in my little safe-haven with inertia by my side. Nothing was changing. Everything was the same. I was in the hospital for eight years with no change.

_I loved it. _

_I hated it.  
_

_I wanted out.  
_

_I wanted to stay the same.  
_

_I wanted to leave so I could be punished.  
_

_I was already being punished by staying.  
_

_I hated it. _

_I loved it. _

So when I finally died, the inertia was ripped apart again. I became a shinigami, consumed by grief and guilt.

And inertia prevailed again. Because I was given so many chances to change, I was given so many chances for a better life, for the afterlife... But I didn't want to change. I had finally been somewhere and everything was normal.

Inertia... What an odd word...

And then _he_ came.

_He_ came with his cold exterior and icy green eyes.

By that point, a new partner, while a change, wasn't a large enough one to worry me. Wasn't enough for me to think of inertia, again.

But _he_ was different. _He_ was actually going to stay.

And I hated him for it.

_He_ was ruining everything I had worked for. _He_ was ruining my little haven of my non-changing afterlife. Inertia was ruined again.

_I hated him.  
_

_I cared for him.  
_

_I despised him.  
_

_I wanted to protect him.  
_

_I wanted him gone.  
_

_I wanted him to stay.  
_

Yes... Inertia was something I would use to describe myself with.

I hate change. I would do anything to stop it from happening.

So when _he _asked me about my past, I ignored the question and turned it around. When _he_ tried to make our partnership closer, I pushed away from him without him knowing.

And even though it hurt when _he_ was angry with me, when _he _wanted nothing more then for me to let him in... I wouldn't.

_I was inertia.  
_

_I wouldn't change. _

_I wanted to._

_I couldn't. _

_I hated it.  
_

_I shouldn't. _

Yet _he_ made me change.

Inertia was overcome the day _he_ came to me in the middle of the night. Hewasn't frightened because of a nightmare. He wasn't having a relapse of his depression from Muraki. He wasn't in pain because of the man's curse.

He looked determined. I didn't understand why. I had barely opened the door when he stalked in and grabbed me.

I didn't even have time to be surprised as he shoved our lips together, his hands tangling themselves into my hair as the door shut closed behind us, him pressing against me.

_It was wrong._

_It was right.  
_

_It was disgusting._

_It was perfect. _

_It was terrible.  
_

_It was amazing. _

I pulled apart for a split-second to gasp for breath but he was already pouncing on me again, pushing me up against the wall as our lips crushed against each other harshly.

_It hurt.  
_

_It was bliss.  
_

_It shouldn't be happening.  
_

_It WAS happening.  
_

_I hated it.  
_

_I loved it.  
_

_I hated him.  
_

_I loved him. _

I hate change. I am inertia.

But as green eyes looked into my own, glazed over with love, lust, adoration, and desire... Change seemed pretty good in that moment. It seemed really good.

_I hate change.  
_

_I want to change.  
_

_I need to stay the same.  
_

_I will break if I stay the same.  
_

_I can't.  
_

_I want to.  
_

_I won't.  
_

_I will. _


End file.
